It was one of those mornings where you wake up heartbroken. It was only a dream? But it seemed so real! Every image so clear. Every smell distinct. Every feeling so intense. You try to will yourself back to sleep and continue dreaming, because you know it has worked on a few occasions. You just need a few more minutes inside that moment. But this morning sides with the majority, and you just can’t. You lay there in bed, savoring the echo of another perfect dream…
It began with a crisp night. For some reason I am not tired, but beside me she is asleep, peacefully. As usual, she has had a long night. Ever my stubborn overachiever, she always has a thousand things going at once. But she wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s cute. She is dressed in her usual bedtime attire; pair of sweat pants, some random wrestling T-shirt of mine from college, and her hair pulled back in pigtails. By far my favorite look for her. She lies beside me, one arm thrown over my chest, one leg draped across mine. My arm wrapped under her, her face rests in that spot where your shoulder, neck, and chest collide.
The window is open, and I can hear the rain outside, dancing on the tree leaves and concrete below. The magical cadence is hypnotizing. Shadows jump randomly across the wall from a candle she left burning. The air holds a faint aroma of some cucumber concoction. A slight breeze coming from the window feels cool on my face. Feeling the same chill, she releases a slight shiver, and buries her face a little deeper into my shoulder. Just that minuscule movement, and suddenly I am overtaken once more by that “home” smell. It’s just that smell that is all her… it can’t be explained or re-created, it’s just her. Lightly playing with her hair, I kiss her softly on the forehead. At that, she stirs just a little, and I wince, thinking I may have just awoken her.
She lets out one of her trademark half asleep groans, and her hand slides up to my cheek. With another soft sigh, she gently brushes her nose up against my scruffy face. She pulls away just enough for me to turn my head to face her. Yet another little noise, as she opens her eyes just slightly. Seeing my blues, a tired smile. She asks me what I’m doing still awake, and I reply, “just watching a beautiful girl sleep.” She playfully nudges me in the ribs with her elbow. “Hey, be nice.” A sleepy little laugh.
“Crazy boy,” she says, fingers running through my hair. Pulling my head towards her, she kisses me on the cheek, and hugs me tightly. Again, that home smell. She turns away, grabbing my arm and pulling it around her waist. With a gentle ease, I pull her hips to mine, so there is no space between us once more. Her fingers wrap across the top of mine, and I feel her body begin to give way to slumber again.
“Goodnight. I lov………” and I’m awake.