Somewhat perturbed

I’m extremely bored and slightly annoyed at the moment.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m completely over-thinking my writing lately, and it would be easier for me to do a back flip than get out a complete thought these days, I don’t know.  I find myself wondering if the true reason I’m so frustrated is the realization I made a couple days ago that I will never be on Last Comic Standing… think about it… wait for it… yeah.  Sucks for me. Whatever the hell my problem is, it needs to go away.  Pronto.  I need to do something. 

A few ideas have crossed my mind that may need further investigation.  After someone pointed out, and the fact that this broad FULLY supports her family just with the money from advertising on her blog, I have decided it’s something I should look into.  I mean, shit, The Man (MSN) is making money off my writing… why can’t I?  Of course, this will require my becoming edumakated in the cyber kung fu that is and to web design, but that shouldn’t be too difficult… I’m spry, or least I used to be.  And, you know I will have TONS of advertisers just kicking the door down from the get-go.  Seriously, can you think of a better place for The Gap to market Crippled Khaki???  I didn’t think so.

My good buddy Web offered up another decent suggestion when he and his wonderful fiancé were visiting last night: the stock market. Not really sure why that monster has always scared me so much… it’s just calculated gambling, right?  I never seemed to have much of a problem blowing $80 at the local casino’s blackjack tables, why not try my hand at this? It has to be at least SOMEWHAT safer, yeah?  Who knows, if I play my cards right, I might just make enough to be able to fund my long-awaited TV show, Queer Eye for The Crippled Guy, thus completing my plan of interstellar domination.

At the moment though, I’ve been keeping myself thoroughly entertained with some moviemaking software I’ve found.  The past few days, I have been transferring my old 8mm wrestling videos onto my hard drive, and toying with putting them all together in some sort of a DVD.  Is it just me, or did Bruce Springsteen’s "Glory Days" just start playing in the background?  Word, Boss, word. 

And look at that… a few complete thoughts.  Crappy thoughts, but thoughts nonetheless.  Hooray for me.

20 Comments Add yours

  1. Unknown says:

    You got me with the Khaki link! I KNEW it was fake — and I STILL clicked! Ugh. My "Internet Solution" software kicked in and I had to choose, "Cancel for Today." Wait — yikes! I may actually need it later. Too late. Anyway, you made me smile. Don\’t overthink your writing. We like you. We really really like you! (I couldn\’t look less like Sally Field, but I love her smile and gumption. My personality tends more toward the f* you variety.) Word out. 🙂

  2. TexasGirlJen says:

    Look at you….
    You are such a rock star!

  3. Steve says:

    Okay, okay… I admit it! You really got me with those bogus links in this post! I was clickin\’ away like an idiot, and then LMFAO… shoulda known better. It\’s not nice to fugg with old folks ya know. (*still laughing about how goddam gullible I can be sometimes*)
    I was gonna suggest that perhaps your current malaise was due to the hot weather, which has arrived here in the desert (with a vengeance), and many other places as well.
    Then I remembered what my Pop told me. "Son", he said to me, "there\’s only two kinds of weather in Seattle – 1) Increasing rain, and 2) Decreasing rain". He ought to know, he was born, raised, and lived most of his life there. So I guess THAT ain\’t it, huh?
    Sure as hell is hot here tho – 110F today. Same as yesterday. Same as tomorrow. Well duuuhhhh! I\’m in a friggin desert – heellloooo!
    Watch out for the stock market – you\’ll be swimming with sharks. Big, HUNGRY, sharks.
    Here\’s a thought: How about composing some computer generated (by you) music? A friend of mine does this on her puter, and comes up with some really kewl stuff. Dunno what kinda software is required, or if there is any that is speech-operated, but it\’s worth checking into mebbe (?)
    Speaking of tunes, I see you\’ve added a jukebox in here. Waayyy kewl. Enjoyed the tune too!
    I have officially joined the Lords of the Internet (I purchased a cable/broadband connection service) so now I can actually hear peoples music when I visit and they have a jukebox playing, not to mention that I no longer have to spend the better part of my online time staring at that friggin hour-glass thingee. Was there ever anything more annoying than that hour-glass thingee?
    Anyroad, thankies for the chuckles! Preciate it! And by-the-by, I have made my space public again (think I finally got rid of the riff-raff), so stop on by if ya like. Or not… *smiling at you*

  4. Tonya says:

    You are simply amazing. I think you could write "hi" as a blog and have everyone stop by to tell you how great you are and how much they love you. =)I agree with others, you do so much on here. You\’re on here for you but you help so many others and you\’re a great read. You should make money for that! Keep us posted as this goes so we can support you 110%. I am for sure hooked on your page.Have a sweet weekend,
    ~ T

  5. Kenny says:

    Sorry, totally spaced out about those links… they are fixed now. 

  6. Jenny says:

    \’As you come swimming into view…and i\’m hanging on your words like I always used to do…\’
    Your player isn\’t working but what a flashback! So many good memories go along with that song. Fun time in life, don\’t ya think?

  7. Unknown says:

    Maybe it is something in the water we are all drinking.  Everyone seems blue these days and unfulfilled with what they have going on. 
    Take care, Pinkster.

  8. Here I am says:

    I liked it even before the links worked.  now – still great!

  9. Kelly says:

    Making money from blogging?? Oh my God…maybe that\’s my ticket out of working! Seriously though, if anyone should be getting paid to have a space…it\’s you.
    I think I\’ve mentioned it before, but I wish you would become a motivational speaker. Just a thought. 🙂

  10. Darlene says:

    Guess who might be moving to Seattle? 
    How \’bout that????

  11. Unknown says:

    I say, rake it in!  Keep this site for now (so us fans can find ya) and then add a link to your new site.  They will flock!  You have the advantage of being a good writer and storyteller.  Best of luck!

  12. Keith says:

    Hey man, anyone who gets 80+ comments from posting about his DOG, and 100+ comments while saying he "has nothing to write", I\’d say has plenty of popularity and will get plenty of hits. 
    Personally, as a web designer since 1996, I\’d say for you, creating websites for others won\’t bring yo cash but if you started your own site you\’d do well.  Be careful on Wall St., there are mighty ruthless people there.  And stay away frm Stovck Options unless you REALLY know what you\’re doing.  Just my 2c.
    Things will pick up for you.  I just believe that.
    Take care mankeith

  13. joannie says:

    just leave the link when you get it up and running so the masses of followers can come on over. i for one am definatly looking forward to it

  14. Unknown says:

    Hi Kenny,
    I have not been leaving any comments lately, actually very rarely do I find time to even turn on my computer these days…you know, no school, two crzy children and one even crazier mommy…..ain\’t we got fun? But of course you know I am not complaining…I KNOW I AM BLESSED.
    I have actually read this blog a few times in the last few days and decided I am not qualified to really comment to you about your feelings. I am sure you agree…so I will just say, I feel sad that you are feeling sad.
    You are always in my heart, mind and prayers and I still talk about you and give out your space to countless others to read…so with that I must agree, GO FOR IT!
    I went to the dunce blog and good Lord if she can do it, I KNOW YOU TOO CAN CASH IN ON YOUR TALENT…it is not even theory…it is proven. Take your stats to any potential advertiser and the numbers speak for themselves.
    SO I VOTE: keep this site, make a link and watch the money roll in, as well as you reclaiming a better sense of self.
    You are a special treasure Kenny, not just to all of us who hang on your every word, not just your family and friends, but remember you are
    and you are a very special treasure to HIM!
    hugs to you

  15. Mandy says:

    Thanks for the birthday wishes!  You are the best!
    Love you!

  16. krist says:

    hmm.. just logged on for some reason, you do realize it was a year ago today you started this whole thing dont you? messing with peoples heads, creating your own groupies in cyberspace, dragging people around the world into your life and mesmerising them with your writing.
     Hope its a good day for you,
      Happy Anniversary…

  17. mtcutie says:

    pssst… so you gonna host it??  What do you think?? lol

  18. Unknown says:

    stocks with dividends…they always pay.

  19. BP says:

    Unbelievable! If she can make money like that, I know you can. I\’m definitely going to put reading your previous entries on my "to do list." Reading your entries definitely inspires me to think more about what I am writing and possibly be a bit more creative. Perhaps if I take a class maybe I could be as good as you :-). Probably not. After reading some of your entries and some of Heather\’s, who you linked to, I feel incredibly old. I remember when I used to be able to make interesting wisecracks and fill time with a multitude of quips did, but now I can barely think of anything funny to say, not to mention interesting.
    I don\’t want to echo Keith\’s comment, but hell, I might as well. Someone who gets 900,000 hits within one year definitely should be setting out on their own. I know I would follow.
    PS thanks for stopping by and reading my thoughts. I know you don\’t have a lot of time to respond to everyone, but I am appreciative that you at least take the time to look at what I have to ramble about.

  20. PAULETTE says:

    Hi again Kenny…and doggie (pat…pat…tickle)…just read your post about turning your writing into a paying thing and Dude, you just have to get Peter Bowerman\’s (? I think?) book, The Well Fed Writer !  It\’s full of really practical, nutz and boltz type information on how to turn your writing into a paying gig.
    I\’ve been having a hell of a time dealing with my new and unimproved physical and emotional brokeness and the fact that I can no longer function in the WORLD outside my door.  This book has been a practical blessing on renewing my sense of purpose in a world that seems to have moved on without me.  God bless you Kenny, you are amazing!  Paulette

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