"I spend my whole life being the sweetest dog on the planet, sitting, staying, fetching, etc…. and this is how these bastards repay me? The guy that used to play with me all the time, just sits around in that rolling chair all day, and they turned the downstairs into a god damn slip and slide! Sure doesn’t make it any easier to get away from those littler weasels that always chase me around and pull my tail. Oh well, at least they tend to drop food every now and then." So yeah, next time you come by, show Tess some love, okay? Good talk.
Just a quick note to anyone that is planning to visit me anytime soon. Could you do me a favor next time you’re here? Pet my damn dog, would ya? I mean, seriously… she’s almost 17 years old, completely deaf and pretty much blind. What’s worse, she’s riddled with arthritis, and my parents decided to put hardwood floors throughout the entire house this last summer. It’s bad enough that she barely has enough strength to get up on carpet, now every time she wants a drink of water, it’s a friggin reproduction of Bambi on Ice. And then to top it all off, her best friend doesn’t so much as lift a finger when she walks in the room anymore! That’s gotta be confusing as all hell, don’t you think? I wonder what goes through her head.