Two years

And so it is, I’ve officially made two laps around the sun without actually moving.  Now, it’s understandable that people might assume that this particular day would be one of my worst.  Not really the case, though.  I’m not sure about anyone else in situations like mine, but the actual anniversary date doesn’t mean a whole lot to me.  It’s not as though I woke up this morning and said, "Holy balls!  I’ve been paralyzed for two years!"  Not so much.  Just because I crossed two years today, doesn’t mean it didn’t feel like two years two months ago.  I don’t need a certain date to remind me of how long it’s been.

It’s crazy how it feels as though the accident was just yesterday one minute, and 50 years ago the next.  Most days, I can’t recall what it was like to walk, but I can remember exactly how the tow rope felt in my hands in the middle of a scarecrow while wakeboarding.  I can still smell the lake as I’m inverted 10 feet over the water, pulling just slightly with my back hand so that I softly land switch, yet I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it felt to stand on my own two feet.  It almost seems as if everything that happened prior to the accident was a completely different life, lived by a different person.  I tell stories from my past as though they are about a really close friend I have lost touch with.

To most people, two years seems like a relatively short amount of time.  Maybe it’s earning that big promotion.  Perhaps it’s a master’s degree.  A cellular service contract.  To me, two years is 731 days (2004 was leap year) lived literally one day at a time. It’s roughly 631,584,000 breaths (53,568,000 of which were on a ventilator, so I’m not sure they count) and somewhere in the vicinity of 5,052,672,000 heart beats.  It’s five kidney surgeries, a blood clot scare and more than a few medical mysteries left unsolved.  But with the sour, also comes the sweet.  In two years I’ve watched a Baby Girl grow into a little one, and a Sweet Pea come into the world.  I’ve found that a laptop computer, voice-activated software, and internet access can be a man’s saving grace.  I’ve uncovered a talent, discovered that not all girls from Ohio are crazy and found that Nebraska has much more to offer than corn, beef and football. 

It’s been a long and hard road to travel so far, but I’m getting by the best I can.  I know this life will never be a cakewalk, but I’m confident it will get a little easier as time passes.  Luckily, I have a tremendous support group of family, friends and blog dorks to get me through the hard times.  So, here’s to another 365 days of hopefully a little less sour and a lot more sweet.  Now if you will excuse me, I have company…

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