A not-so-quick shout out

Yes, i just used the term "shout out".  Don’t judge.  Moving on…

Looking back, I can honestly say I’m proud of my achievements in wrestling.  I was a scholarship collegiate athlete, a four-year starter in the NCAA, and came within inches of being crowned All-American.  Granted, it was barely a quarter scholarship, I didn’t start full-time until late in my sophomore season, and it was Division II; that kind of resume could STILL lead some to believe that I’m the great athlete of the Salvini clan.  Oh, not so fast.  With a dad that was a California high school standout in both baseball AND football, and a sister that would have probably waterskied professionally had it not been for a terrible knee injury suffered in her mid-teens, I always just assumed I had a firm grip on the number three spot in the family.  That is, until last week.

Jeanne "Maddog" Salvini shot right past the three of us to take sole possession of the "#1 Athlete in the Fam" spot when she and a few girlfriends won the season championship for their bowling league last Thursday.  Not only did she do her part to help earn the title that night, she also brought home the much-coveted Naked Pin: an unpainted (what did you think "naked" meant?) bowling pin rewarded to their team’s best performer each week… which, since it’s the end of the season, she gets to keep until the next one begins, thankyouverymuch!  Now although you may not be as impressed with the league title as I am, you simply MUST respect the individual performance I’m about to describe.

This particular championship is decided by a three-game match between the winners of the first and second halves of the regular season.  Maddog & Friends eked out the first season win, with her averaging a respectable yet human 120 pins per game while using a house ball.  This early success led to a certain kooky Italian teammate who shall remain unnamed (Margie) to convince her it was time to invest in her own bowling ball, and she did just that.  What happened next could not have been predicted.  Awkward finger-hole placement and a few "professional" pointers (which were anything but) later, her natural delivery was completely ruined, leading to a significant drop in her average, and a last-place second-half finish for the team.

Flash forward to the championship.  Coming off a less than stellar performance the week before that contained a paltry 91-pin effort, Maddog’s confidence was in the basement.  Finding herself on the biggest stage possible with countless eyes on her, how did she respond?  In a word: masterfully.  With a 460-pin match total highlighted by a 171 single-game score, she led her team to a commanding victory!  And that, my friends, is what they call a serious CLUTCH performance. 

As a perennial choke-artist myself (read: ALMOST All-American), I can attest to just how hard something like that is.  That’s nerves of steel, baby.  It’s defying the odds and coming through when your team needs your absolute best.  Screw Michael Jordan hitting the game-winning jumper… we’re talking straight Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford in The Natural) overcoming a batting slump, old-age, having just broke "Wonderboy", and oh yeah… a friggin gunshot wound!… and STILL busting out the lights with his walk off home run, carry-you-off-the-field EPIC SHIT here people!!! 

And while I can name more than a few opponents that I downright dominated in my wrestling career, I don’t know where they are, so who really cares?  I do know FOR A FACT, however, that there is a fairly large group of middle-aged women that bowl on Thursday nights at Daffodil Lanes in Puyallup, Washington who have kids scattered across the country to whom I can now roll up to and say the following:

My mom whooped your
mom’s ASS at bowling!!!

…way to go Mom!… that’s WAY cooler than, "my dad can beat up your dad"

100 Comments Add yours

  1. Mandy says:

    Your mom surpassed her championship effort!
    Now THAT is impressive. 
    She succeeds under pressure and dominates the competition.
    You must have inherited Skip\’s genes.  hahahaha 🙂

  2. Unknown says:

    Hi Kenny,
    Hip hip horray for your mom ! I enjoy bowling myself and confess to having my own ball and shoes, a little embarrassed, but hey, us "middle aged woman" have to have some fun.
    My cousins and I used to bowl every Sat night for a few years until the little ones came along….my mom actually asked if we wanted her to make us all shirts…."yeah mom, that would really be something we would want to wear out on a Sat. eve….LOL
    I guess I would be like Laverne and Shirley and just have my J in script….perish the thought!
    But truth be told, and I am sure your mom agrees, bowling IS fun. As far as her scores, WOW ! I am major impressed..I am lucky to break 120 on a good night…LOL
    Kenny, I missed the last blog, so in brief, "You go on and be YOU !\’"….I think when things that are extreme occur in our lives the pendelum swings way to one side, it takes time and then we find a day, that as we look in the mirror we arrive back to who we really are….be Kenny, the Kenny you were and are meant to be: Always….
    As they say: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE !
    k, hope you do not mind:
    sorry I have not been around, but I seem to be short of time on the computer these days….which is a good thing for me, but of course I really miss reading both of your funny, amusing, insightful antics…am I still privy" Perhaps I will make it a point to visit you each in the next week….Okay? Okay !
    Hugs to you all,
    as always,

  3. Diana says:

    congrats to your mom and you keep it up, you have lots of will power . i admire you!

  4. dying2die says:

    hi .. hows u doin .. hows life.. howr u feelin … hope u r gettin btr
    God bless u amne

  5. Susan says:

    Hey Kenny! Congrats to your mom on her winnings. That is so great.
    You have so much to be proud of.. Hope you have a blessed day.

  6. Davina says:

    Sorry friends!
    I work 8-5 Monday – Friday and go out occasionally on the weekends – other than that it is a safe bet that Kenny & I are chatting because we miss eachother and after 8 months we somehow can still talk for hours!
    I don\’t mean to be a Kenny-hog, we just can\’t get enough of eachother!
    the Kenny-hog

  7. Karen says:

    Hi there, I haven\’t been here in a while but say your link again on Marisa\’s page so I thought i\’d come by and see what\’s going on in your life. I hope the week is decent for you,

  8. Unknown says:

      I blog walk alot and you are very popular.So, I thought I would come by and say hello.Thanks for sharing with us and jerking us all back into the real world.You are truly an amazing guy and I know an inspiration to alot of Us!
    God Bless

  9. Unknown says:

    Hi Kenny,
    I have been a lurker/fan/occasional shout out sender for a bit, and I am sure you wouldn\’t know me from ……….well, an open jar of peanut butter (for lack of any other spontaneous thought right now) but I wanted to say Hi and tell you how wonderful it is to see that you seem happy and apparently quite loved by everybody who knows you and your entries are fun and it sounds like you are in a pretty good mood lately and those dark days are dust in the wind.  Good for you sir!  :o)      We are all  \’rooting for you\’ and hoping for good things to continue.  
    I used to peek and read at Davina\’s web site every once in a while your entries there moved all of us here at the insurance office to almost tears.  (but she went private now and well, being nobody in that group, we don\’t look anymore)    She sounds like a wonderful girl and is lucky to have you and vice versa.
    Please accept our positive thoughts and good vibes we\’re sending your way and stay happy!

  10. Laura says:

    Hey!  ~~ I can roll a mean gutter ball……..
    "LOOK OUT!!"………(3 lanes over.)
    me  ;oP

  11. rennie582 says:

    Kenny :
    Check my site out I wrote u something

  12. Unknown says:

    I LOVE to read your blog. Enough said:)My Blog

  13. Unknown says:

    (Note to self: Go to the urban dictionary right after and find out WTF a "shout out" is)
    Kenny, once again you have me laughing out loud. No. Really. I\’m not kidding. Why do you think I spelled it all the way out? None of that lame-ass LOL stuff.
    No Sir.
    THIS entry deserved better than that!
    Please give "Maddog" a virtual High 5, from me, next time you see her.
    On another subject: Rick relayed to me today that you HAD in fact sent an email to Vanita. I cannot even begin to express how gratifying it was to hear that. He didn\’t say what was in it of course, because that\’s between you, him and Vanita, and is none of my business.
    I would just like you to know that I am truly, truly, grateful to you for taking the time and putting forth the effort to respond to that request. I felt a little bit guilty, putting you on the spot like that, and I hope you can forgive me that.
    It\’s just that I KNOW, that when/if she regains sufficient consciousness, your message will mean the WORLD to her.
    "Thank You" just doesn\’t seem like NEARLY enough, but it\’s all I\’ve got.
    I owe you.

  14. TexasGirlJen says:

    I\’m not surprised he did. Kenny has a beautiful soul…… I can speak from experience…..
    So…..out blog walking. I\’m at a Lisa Loeb fundraiser tonight, and the topic turns to my blog. A few people saying how they like it, etc…. and then it turns to….
    "Have you ever read Kenny\’s blog?"
    I\’m like…. well, um, hello….. have you checked out our mutual links……
    And then it dawns on me, the whole reason I sought out your writing in the first place…. I was at a table full of editors and writers…. great editors and writers…. and they all said the same thing, essentially….
    Which was…..
    "He makes people do something with his words….. His words enforce a call to action…."
    And whatever that is, it\’s true. And you know I\’ve said it a million times.
    Tonight, you had Katy award-winners. Top-notch writers. People who don\’t care anything about a good smoke, a decent buzz, and a damn good story…. complimenting you.
    See, told you I knew what I was talking about.
    And on a side note, Lisa Loeb was so frickin; cute. She\’s shorter than me, which seems impossible, and her upper arms are so dang toned. She is about the cutest thing I\’ve ever seen. She\’s a doll. I think she might be before your time, but anyway…. she was cute and can sing like a total coolio foolio.
    Figured you were probably up, so just saying hola amigo…. from tejas….

  15. TexasGirlJen says:

    What I meant to type was….
    ….don\’t care about anything more than a….

  16. Sue says:

    Way to go Mom!
    Dare I totally embarrass myself and tell my all time lowest bowling score for one game? (and this was when I was an adult)
    Keep in mind I only bowl about twice a year (and I don\’t know why I don\’t more often cause I think I kinda like the game), AND I was sick that night (ended up I had strep throat. Wonder how many others I gave it to that touched the same ball. ack!) And I was having a bad BAD hair day. And I had those stupid rental bowling shoes. And the moon was full. And my pants were too tight. And I was weak cause I skipped dinner. And I had a hang nail. And it REALLY hurt!
    Ok ok..I know..I\’m stalling…(and fibbin a lil bit, but I really was sick and felt like hell)
    PLEASE don\’t tell anyone…k?? Our lil secret just you and me????
    No lie
    By the way, how do you keep up with all these posts?? I know you can\’t possibly answer them all but wow..must keep you busy for a while!
    Have a super day!

  17. linda says:

    HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WRITE TO SO WELL! You think I\’d be used to this by now. I\’ve been reading your blog for months, maybe even a year now…
    I didn\’t go to college, maybe that\’s it. Otherwise, dang, that is a lot of innate talent. I know it\’s been said before so I\’m not going to say it again…but if I didn\’t believe it to be an act of false worship I\’d totally bow down before you.
    And I bet you just thought you were telling a story…
    Congrats to your Mrs. Salvini! You go girl!

  18. Leigh says:

    Kudos to your mom.  And that saying you have is truly much cooler then the dad saying.  Congrats!
    But I just have to say that a friend of mine is on a league in Puyallup, WA and she is currently in Reno bowling for the National Tournament, so my friend may be able to whoop your mom\’s ass in bowling.  HA! HA! HA!

  19. Darlene says:

    I am not pleased that someone is infringing on my character name…..poser!

  20. Liza says:

    Hey Kenny
    Always entertaining.
    Hope you are well.

  21. Vonnie says:

    Hi Kenny,
    Haven\’t seen a new post from you in a while… hoping that you are well. 
    Be blessed,
    Yvonne, Canada

  22. Sacha says:

    "My mom whooped your mom\’s ASS at bowling!!!"
    That would make a GREAT saying on a T-shirt!
    Have a wonderful day! And your momma too!

  23. michelle says:

    congrats to your mom….
    Love coming here to read ya stories… Keep it up, ya amazing
    Hugs xxx

  24. mtcutie says:

    Hey Kenny,
    Hope everything is going well and that your writing is going well.  I needed a distraction from my real life so I thought I’d hop into blog world for a while and you are pretty much always my first stop!
    Have a good one,

  25. CARICAR says:

    Kenny, your site is fantastic, I am glad I came across it!

  26. Vanessa says:

    Hey Kenny!  Haven\’t dropped by your space in a while, so I thought I would stop by and say "CIAO" once more! I made some changes to my space so if you come in and it looks different…it is still me.  Formerly "Little Italy".  Hope you are well!  Blessings!

  27. Unknown says:

    Rock on, Mom! Remind me never to cross paths with you in a dark bowling alley.
    You\’ve got to totally admire anyone who can crystallize their game at the moment of maximum impact like that. I respect her more than any super-talent-with-lame-ass-oxygen-wasting-attitude like Bode Miller any day.
    Enjoy the Naked Pin, well deserved!

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